Monday 30 December 2013

DISADVANTAGES AND PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH BIG BUTT...Kenyan daily digest

1. Finding a pair of jeans that fit your butt and your waist feels like winning the lottery.
If it fits your waist, it's so tight it squeezes your butt cheeks in. If it fits your butt, you have this huge space around your waist, almost like you're wearing maternity jeans. 
2. About 90 percent of your clothes are 80 percent made of flexible material
that stretchy material, is the universe's gift to you.
3. You won't ever wear a dress .
You would rather wear cloth that are less your size — that is always two sizes two small — suppress your breathing so you can look slimmer
4. You can almost never order clothes online.
Because store sizes are so off, you're a 10 at one place and a 16 at the other, so you never know how it will fit.
5. You literally haul ass every time you run.
This burns extra calories, right?
6. When you wear a dress, your hem rises at least three inches — but only in the back.
Introducing the dress mullet: business in the front, party in the back.
7. You have a love-hate relationship with "Baby Got Back."
Anytime the media talks about big booties, they somehow always manage to say "baby got back." It's very annoying to be compared to 90s video dancers . 
8. You have to buy your bikini tops and bottoms separately.
That Old Navy bikini bottom will get swallowed.
9. Some men think "but that ass" is a great conversation starter.
I've found that responding with "I was thinking the same thing when I saw you," is a great way to make it awkward enough for him to walk away. 
10. Trying to pull pants over your ample assets doubles as cardio.
Because you have to hop around the room like a kangaroo to get into your favorite skinny jeans.
11. Rappers are constantly trying to tell you what to do with your ass.
Drop it low, make it clap, twerk it, back dat ass up — damn, can't a girl just two-step, anymore?
12. Shopping for a bra unintentionally ends up taking four hours.
And finding a sexy one seems impossible.. 
13. You can't remember the last time you wore shorts.
There's no way your hips and butt are going to fit into those cute cut offs you spotted 
..Kenyan daily digest

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